Tues, Feb 7th, 2017
Lemme apologize first for spelling and grammar...but thats not why you're here...
So, I’m days away from my BIG DEBUT SOLO SHOW!….the gemini in me feels two ways. #1 eh, just shove me out there on stage I'm fine. I have always prided myself on being able to entertain a room full of people on the fly. #2. MY GOD! MY NERVES! Will I be ready? Will they like me? Who is Anita on stage as a solo act?
If you’ve been following me then you’re as sick of this storyline as I am, but the last 6 months have probably been the worst ever….(check out my youtube for more) my performance partner/ my business partner/my “brother & best-friend” deciding to make a life change (which I totally respect) left me feeling certain ways and on top of that, around the same time I was diagnosed with a severe spine disease the details of which I’m sick of so I’m going to leave them out of this post. Now, you also have to understand that these things lead me to working a lot less…and to my doctor (recently) suggesting to me that I am showing serious signs of depression. Of course! Who wouldn’t after all of this and then being told, oh yeah you're also too fat for the spine surgery you need to have so you’re going to need to have gastric bypass surgery….oh and also, theres a chance if you don’t get this spine surgery ASAP that within a year you’ll most likely be bound to a wheelchair. Needless to say, I have had A LOT going on in the last few months and during that time, while I had little motivation to be creative I was trying to figure out what I was going to do as Anita. What kind of material even interests me? Who is she on stage as a solo act?…here I had all this material that I loved and had worked so hard on…almost 10 years worth that revolved around a duo….and musically my job had been to sing the harmonies (harmonies are the combination of simultaneously sounded musical notes, ie- not the main vocal) so most of the music that I had in my catalogue was useless and even if I wanted to sing any of that music I was going to have to relearn parts I hadn’t sung before.
The universe, or higher power, God, or Gaga, whoever “it” is has a way of working for you if you are able to open yourself to be able to see it…so you can take the opportunities….when I first found myself “solo” I was forced into having tough conversations with people we had business dealings with…would they work with me as a solo act? Some people declined. Some gigs I simply wasn’t able to do without my partner. Sherry Vine, a legend in the entertainment community runs an LGBTQ youtube network, GaySVTVWorld and at the time of my partner deciding to make his career change we had a weekly comedy web series with the network which has over 40,000 subscribers and reaches a worldwide audience. It was a HUGE thing for us to be part of as it brings so many positive things, Sherry Vine is such a well respected and sought after artist. I remember calling her, feeling like I was about to loose something that meant so much to me. Nervously telling her that I was moving forward and that Anita was going to be a solo act. “HONEY!, I think this is great! Of course I still want you to be part of the channel. This is the universe taking you to the next level.” I could have cried! Then there was the Asbury Hotel where we had been doing our sold out brunch shows to big numbers…I was super nervous for this conversation because I have fallen in love with The Asbury Hotel and the people there. In addition to me being a DJ for their High Tea parties our act had been performing our show there and I was hopeful that I could keep the brunch show going as a solo act despite being clueless as to what my act consisted of. I emailed the events and entertainment director and we scheduled a conference call for a week out…you can imagine my nerves. My phone rings….and my mouth starts to run a mile minute as it tends to do when I'm excited or I'm nervous or basically any time. I explained, moving forward "it’s just going to be Anita!" and that "its cool, I totally got this","…its going to awesome! Yeah so fun!" (meanwhile I really have no idea, I have MINIMAL material to perform and im suffering from depression and I can barely get out of bed and I have no Idea what I’m doing and I just want cry and cry and cry) finally I shut up….theres a long pause…was he even listening…im like oh god, my insecurities kick in and I think to myself this guy doesn’t even like me….he thinks I’m annoying and I bug him too much and this will be his way to get rid of me and never have to deal with me ever again. Then he says, “I think you’re one of the funniest Queens I have ever seen. You’re so talented, It’s obvious you run the show and there's no doubt that we cant keep the brunch going on a monthly basis with you doing it as a solo show.” My heart could have exploded inside of my body right then and there. I was so happy.
The point of all of this is to say stick with it. No matter what it is, no matter what you're going through…. #LiveYourPassion Find the people that believe in you. All of this has shown me all the people that want to see me do well, it has shown me the people that are excited to see me succeed. I have found that I should ALWAYS be learning and growing, I am starting to say yes to things that make me feel uncomfortable (I am doing my first full song parody written by someone else which is all new for me) and I learning to let go of the things and people that do not truly uplift me.
Come see me this Sunday at The Asbury Hotel for my first big stage show! Use code "Mimosa" for special room rates.
Get your tickets here: https://www.showclix.com/event/mimosabrunch
and see me the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every Month at Excelsior in Brooklyn for Anita's Celebrity Game Night! 10pm!
And book me to Host/Dj/Perform at your event! No event is too big or small. Email Bookings@AnitaBuffem.com
Thank You’s !!!!
Excelsior for giving me my first solo gig. Mark & Richard, thank you so much for being so understanding and willing to give me the time to grow and figure it out.
Sherry Vine, girl! GIRL! GIRRRRRLLL!!!!! You inspire me so much you make me want to sing songs about poop. Thank you for continuing with me on GaySVTVWorld. Im so excited to see the success of the channel and to see how much joy it brings to so many people. <3
Pamela Bob, you calmed me down when I needed it most. You brought me back to square one. Thank you for reminding me why Anita is who she is and why people love her.
Larry, Thanks for believing in me and encouraging me. The Asbury has been such a positive light for me over the last year.
Mom, You inspire me never to give up, thanks for helping through all this and encouraging me everyday…even if it felt like you were swinging from my tits sometimes.
Steven, I love you and all the years we performed together. This new journey truly wouldn’t be possible without you and all of our accomplishments.
Michelle, thanks for that initial day of writing…now lets try some stand up?
Ayle, thanks for dealing with all of this. Its been a lot and you continue to support me and work with me and be my support at gigs. I know it hasn't been easy and it means so much to me to have you in my life.